Of Musicals and Drunken Hiss-n-Boos

The Law School Musical was a smashing success this year...gender, ethnic and school-based stereotypes abounded in such quantity that the participation of Justice Kennedy and former-Justice O'Connor may give rise to a Bivens action if someone could show that the Justices were acting "under color of law" when they shot video which was displayed at the opening of Act I. It was that self-indulgent. But at the time, we were all duly fascinated. At length, the variously admired and occasionally ignored dean of the law school took the state to annouce the law prom-coronation of two characters in the narrative. There was hissing and booing from the drunken quarters and applause from those of us sober enough to know that institution would not appreciate audible discord on the DVD version of the production. There are certainly uncomfortable moments in law school but the "unfortunate event" at the musical revealed much of the illustrious assembly as drunken bores. Perhaps there's something to be said for staid, stuffy lawyers with a bit too much decorum.

tags technorati : Alcohol Law School

Admitted Student Weekend

There were a lot of "admits" hanging around campus this past weekend. I wasn't on campus. I did some reading at a cafe, went to San Francisco and bought some clothes, had dinner with a disarmingly cool character and mostly minded my own business. Unfortunately, I also slept through a classmate's birthday party. But who starts a wine and cheese party at 6:00 PM on a Saturday? (That's another problem with this whole "small town" scene: people do stuff really early. If I say I'm doing something social at 3:00, I typically mean "3:00 in the morning." But that's a Continental and East Coast thing...I digress...) I did pop into the law library Saturday afternoon and witnessed a bunch of folks wandering around the courtyards. Obviously admits. I didn't talk to any of them.

My advice for those students recently admitted to some of the best law schools in the country and currently trying to decide where to attend:

Are you familiar with the strategy of anti-smoking campaigns in the late 1980s? The pictures of a healthy, pink lung juxtaposed with the brown corroded-looking smoker's lung? Well, think of that lung as your immortal soul. A fellow over at CLS has a blog titled Three Years of Hell to Become the Devil; you should read it. Also, you should have already read a good deal of Milton, Yates and The Bible. We already have enough cultureless bores wandering around here in shitty "California" outfits and visors. (They're all very smart but their tastes and mores reflect poorly on what should, at this level, be a learned profession with members worthy of emulation.)

But quite apart from the cultural issues, I strongly urge you to consider whether there are people in your life whose moral compasses, shall we say, donÂ’t spin. You will have to spend a lot of time explaining things to these people. Likewise, do consider that those with "spinning compasses" will wonder what your problem is when you decide that profit optimizing schemes should typically meet with stern sanction when they predictably endanger life, limb or property. If you're a Bush supporter (I don't know whether you're blind, dumb, or just dishonest, yet here you are), you should be prepared to burst into tears at the abuses done to this country or else die suddenly from the cognitive dissonance.

But to directly address your current predicament as to where to matriculate, I suggest you avoid schools that use or plan to use the quarter system (persons with particularly strong work ethics and LSATs over 175 may ignore this), schools with more that 500 students in the entering class, and schools in rural or suburban areas. Beyond that, just attend the highest ranked of the legal dojo that will abide your presence. You'll get to do plenty of punching.

Good luck. I'm off to start the whole exam-prep thing. Right after I take this shot and...

tags technorati : Culture Law School

shop-person encounter #1 (presumptious and depressing)

I really don't like buying from middle age shop-folks. They don't know how to relate to young, cash-laden intelli-brats. For example, I was in Nordstrom and this obnoxious lady, who shall remain nameless, followed me around the store as I did my best to ignore her. I recall saying something about shopping for my dad and I suspect I may have motioned for her to hold something while I snickered into my cell phone about an "upcoming purchase." The over-bleached 40-something blonde, who'd clearly saved up her pennies for a bad face lift, had the nerve to hand me her business card after ringing up my purchase and said she hoped I enjoyed the jeans and that they'd look good when I went out later. She didn't even offer me a gift receipt. Now, how many skinny, fashionable boys do you know who wear relaxed-fit Zegna jeans in size 34? Do I look like I try to impress women by playing Michael Bolton in my new Buick Lucerne? ("Beyond precision, not beyond your reach.") A week later, she sent me a "just because" note...with another business card. Desperate. I just don't think we'll be able to have a retail-based relationship. Just because I overspent on a given day doesn't mean that I'm going to seek out your services, especially when it's so obvious that you'd put me in jeans that would suit my dad but are big enough to make me look like a vastly over-subsidized hog farmer. Well, I guess I should forgive her for assuming that grad students don't shop for their parents every once in a while. Hey, my dad lets me drive his land yatch when he visits and bought me a suit that reads "The Future of the American Legal System" at fifty paces; the least I can do is pick him up a pair of quality jeans every so often.

addendum sequitur:
I think we'll make this #1 of a series. It will probably see updates with somewhat greater frequency than our Physiognomy series...if only because the law school is closer to the shopping center than the county courthouse. I suspect it won't be as entertaining; I've yet to see someone dragged kicking and screaming from Polo or a lawyer stuffing a Ferragamo in his mouth at Neiman’s. Yea, harken unto my words: We'll be back in the courtroom soon enough.

Superfluous approbation

Yo Harvard, read and weep.

To Yale, all due respect; hope you're enjoying the winter in New Haven.