shop-person encounter #1 (presumptious and depressing)

I really don't like buying from middle age shop-folks. They don't know how to relate to young, cash-laden intelli-brats. For example, I was in Nordstrom and this obnoxious lady, who shall remain nameless, followed me around the store as I did my best to ignore her. I recall saying something about shopping for my dad and I suspect I may have motioned for her to hold something while I snickered into my cell phone about an "upcoming purchase." The over-bleached 40-something blonde, who'd clearly saved up her pennies for a bad face lift, had the nerve to hand me her business card after ringing up my purchase and said she hoped I enjoyed the jeans and that they'd look good when I went out later. She didn't even offer me a gift receipt. Now, how many skinny, fashionable boys do you know who wear relaxed-fit Zegna jeans in size 34? Do I look like I try to impress women by playing Michael Bolton in my new Buick Lucerne? ("Beyond precision, not beyond your reach.") A week later, she sent me a "just because" note...with another business card. Desperate. I just don't think we'll be able to have a retail-based relationship. Just because I overspent on a given day doesn't mean that I'm going to seek out your services, especially when it's so obvious that you'd put me in jeans that would suit my dad but are big enough to make me look like a vastly over-subsidized hog farmer. Well, I guess I should forgive her for assuming that grad students don't shop for their parents every once in a while. Hey, my dad lets me drive his land yatch when he visits and bought me a suit that reads "The Future of the American Legal System" at fifty paces; the least I can do is pick him up a pair of quality jeans every so often.

addendum sequitur:
I think we'll make this #1 of a series. It will probably see updates with somewhat greater frequency than our Physiognomy series...if only because the law school is closer to the shopping center than the county courthouse. I suspect it won't be as entertaining; I've yet to see someone dragged kicking and screaming from Polo or a lawyer stuffing a Ferragamo in his mouth at Neiman’s. Yea, harken unto my words: We'll be back in the courtroom soon enough.