REVOLT!

As I walked to class this morning, thinking deep thoughts about how a 23 year-old came to skip the "$1000 Wardrobe" spread at page 162 in April's Esquire in favor of the "$5000 Wardrobe" spread 6 pages later, I could not help but detect the drums of discord. Or, with somewhat more precision, the 'pings' of discord; as most of the angry racket has been flowing via Outlook inboxes. Basically, people don't much like the new dean, or his plan to turn this place into the only "holy trinity" law school on the quarter system, or the fucking (adj.) undergrads in our library; or the fact that said dean refuses to dispose of said undergrads. A few tidbits follow:

Right on, [L]. I'd be willing to trade my library use for the ability to use the actual grass at the driving range. those mats are awful, and the lines make alignment impossible.

I'm sure any administrative discussion will be just like the quarters
system: the students are against a situation, therefore it will continue unabated, much like the domestication of the dog
- A charmingly cynical soul

...Let the undergrads go work on the damn second floor, where there are no windows, or on the third floor, which is still stuck in the 1970s. The good chairs are on the first floor, as is the reserve desk, as is our lovely new chess board. When does my opinion count at this school? Didn't count during the quarter system debate, doesn't count now......why did we hire a Dean who cowtows [sic] to the administration when we pay his salary? Why is it that whenever there is an issue that affects students he is against us instead of working for us - which is his job (that and raising money on our behalf)?
- Anon.

Man, with 90-plus-percent of the law school pissed at the undergrads, the undergrads chatting up irritating us on their email lists, offers of what will surely be a terrible drinking event at the enchanted broccoli compound (as opposed to those other rocking undergrad events where grad students are always labeled "sketchy"), and serious discussion going forward about a petition drive to withhold 3L giving until this or the quarters system reflects students' wishes, we really have so much comity here. So much!


Sooner or later someone is going to stop asking questions about the undergrads and the pedagogical benefits of the quarters system and start asking the right questions: How much does Sullivan really want to take the California bar again, and how long is our current leader's contract?
- Anon.

...Thus, the attorneys found themselves preparing for engagement on no less than two fronts

Then the undergrads tossed a bomblet...

My personal retort:
Average SAT: 1400+
Number of "hot dates" in past year: 1
Time spent jacking off in law library in preparation for physics exam: 2 hrs.
Time spent screeching on cell phone in law library in preparation for physics exam: 3 hr.
Time spent showering, brushing teeth, applying deodorant, picking out clothes prior: null
Directions to "Go Fug Yourself" in link list at right: damn near priceless

The learned attorneys mused about a response...

It's very kind of the undergrads to take time off from studying to share fashion tips with us, but I think we might have the formula down already:

ill-covered beer gut (on both guys and girls- charming) + sloppy sweatpants and/or unfortunate miniskirt + distorted sense of one's own physical attractiveness = Stanford undergrad

I'm crushed I'll be missing the 8 pm fugly parade- should make for some decent observational humor...
- Genteel Bane of UGrads

A short time later, hostilities commenced...

Scene: Undergrad grossness gathers around the library tables.


Large Dustin Diamond look alike (very loudly): "Ok, we're going to sing happy birthday to..."


[E, Fearless Insurgent Captain](equally loudly): "No you're not. This is a library and people are trying to study. Shut the f**k up."


Classic stuff. And yes, actually sing happy birthday. The undergrads party that much.

The next day (this afternoon), the dean looked down from his perch and said:

...For the Law School to flourish it cannot conduct its business apart from the rest of the University as an independent operation. We need the support and cooperation of the University in a great many areas...immediately and in the long run, the Law School as a whole, but especially the students, have more to gain by being an integral part of the larger Stanford community than we do from remaining separate. .... It would do us significant harm within the University were we to be the lone department that precludes other members of the University community from using our facilities.

Never mind that the current acrimony has nothing to do with access to the book resources of the library; only access to a very expensive (paid for by law school alumni), and heretofore quiet, reading room on the first floor. Never mind that I use the other libraries to (gasp) check out books and depart. But, alas, my commentary skews officious. The gentle dean continued thusly:

...the law library will address issues of noice [sic] and inappropriate behavior by clearly posting our rules and asking everyone to comply. Incidents like what took place last night will not be tolerated. The library is a space to study, not to protest or socialize, and anyone who interferes or disrupts the proper use of the room will be asked to leave. .... I view restricting access to our current space as a last resort and want first to see if we can address the problems in less drastic ways.

Again, never mind that the "last resort" option of restricting access to the space has been working fine for years. I’d mention some other candidates for dean but I wouldn’t want them disappeared.