Colliton gets a bit less...Cravizzle

So, last time I lived in New York, it was my habit to wander up Third Ave. on Sunday mornings as the hour approached for legal alcohol purchasing. Along the way I'd pass the St. Marks Hotel and wonder what sort of debauchery was afoot within. Seriously, what kind of hotel has a green door, a green sign and happens to be located between Cooper Union (geeky weirdos) and the rest of St. Marks Place (kinky weirdos)? Low and behold, I crawled out of my very hazy weekend to discover that a tax attorney, formerly of the venerable Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP, had been captured within. See Google News Dump.

I should say something off colour here about tax attorneys, but I won't because some of my friends claim to have enjoyed tax law and I don't want them to feel like perverts.

Anyhow, Mr. James Colliton, a fellow, who, if guilty of the several misdeeds alleged against him, ought to be clapped in irons, looks like a complete wanker. See his picture here. To the credit of the financially endowed Cravizzle folks, one could paraphrase their response to media inquiries as "Colliton don't work here no mo'!"

Seriously dude, exercise a little restraint and at least move to Colorado City, Utah. There you can stay married to your original wife, keep hanging out with your kids and engage in committed, though un-sanctioned, liaisons with all the underage girls you want—blessed by God's graceful smile, if you ask the locals. Hell, you might even score a pair of sisters. Of course, you might have to part with that posh job at Cravizzle, which does not maintain offices in Utah. For very good reasons, I'm sure.

addendum sequitur :
I have never worked for Cravath; I didn't even interview with them. I did hear that one of their hiring partners had to the nerve to ask a classmate of mine if he was a practicing Muslim during the interview. So, I guess you could say they occasionally push the bounds of propriety—if only when faced with a robust non-discrimination policy.

Also, the polygamists in Colorado City aren't even Mormons, or Latter-Day Saints, for that matter.