the end-of-summer review

[Hiring Partner]: Nice to see you kid; how was the summer?

[Summer Associate]: Really great, you folks are running a stand-out operation and I'd love to be part of it.

[HP]: Funny you should mention that. Your reviews remained largely consistent since we last spoke [a few weeks ago].

[SA]: That's good to hear...

[HP]: Yeah...not really. We like to see a good deal of progress over the course of the summer program. You must understand; we don't hire lawyers into the summer program, we hire potential lawyers. You needed to show us a solid trajectory of progress towards your potential.

[SA]: I don't understand what I did wrong...

[desperation sets in as Summer Associate begins to see fearful visions of a 3L recruiting season; explaining to potential employers why she doesn't have an offer from her 2L summer; in the best case, returning to this firm on a cold offer with everyone generally disliking her.]

[HP]: As much as it disappoints us, we're going to have to go ahead and make you an offer to return as a full-time associate. Don't take it too hard, we're generally disappointed with most of you kids who wander out here.

[Hiring Partner looks out the window of his well-appointed office at the palatial plaza below and thinks: Every year you summer associates get younger, dumber and wealthier; we only get older and wealthier. Don't you see that your wealth is at our expense? For christ's sake, we had to match that obscene salary increase this spring. One hundred and forty-fucking-five thousand dollars a year just to keep you suckers coming back for more. Not to mention that if we don't invite you back, you'll talk a tremendous amount of shit about us to your friends back at Ivory-Tower-Up-Your-Ass School of Law.]

[HP]: You'll make a lot more progress when you get back and have to take a more serious view of things. Don't worry, we'll dangle a bonus in front of you and the rest will take care of itself. Do you have any questions for me?

[SA - too relieved to pose a useful query]: Not at this point. Thank you very much. I'll let you know my decision shortly. It's been a real pleasure working with everyone.

[Summer Associate flees the room, returns to her office and makes several celebratory phone calls]

tags technorati : Law Firm Summer Work

wherein we spent weeks in NYC and then returned...

[S] was in an undisclosed super top secret location over the summer somewhere in fly-over country. I missed her terribly and despite the huge paychecks, I was bored to tears. To state the obvious, relationships are difficult and complicating [ironic sic].

[S]’s arrival in the city happily bifurcated the summer. The roommate came home early from visiting family and created an awkward moment. I can't help but think there are few contextual positives for us. The perpetual background drone is that I'm leaving California in a year.

I went to work most days; the commute from the lower east side involves a 40-minute trip to law-firm row along 6th Ave. Needless to say, I wander past some rather hipster-infested bars on the way home.

I was happy to be informed over the summer of what must be the most classy line uttered by a summer to a senior associate the night before having his office cleaned out in a decidedly ceremonious firing: You don't fucking know me; I'll fucking stab you!

By all accounts, the poor chap had spent the evening getting drunk and carrying on loudly about all the nasty things he wanted to do to the associate's attractive fiancée.

I spent a good deal of time on self-guided walking tours of real estate hot spots. Turns out, there’s not much I can afford even with a proper pay check. It must be hell to be poor in this city. I guess I’ll be back in a year in a part-time vaguely bohemian bourgeois incarnation.

tags technorati : Law New York Relationship Work