Dunkin' Xenophobia
According to the new Dunkin' Donuts ad, not only should Americans not bother to actually speak or comprehend foreign languages, they shouldn't tax their minds or tongues with the mere pronunciation of coffee-related words that have long since entered the urban lexicon. Apparently, everything beyond "latte" comes from a strange and perplexing tongue Dunkin' would have us call "Fritalian".
Update: Dunkin' Donuts might not be pathologically mono-lingual, but they're betting that you are. Alas, they're probably correct.
...ceterum, I believe that Bush should be, like, impeached.
