Friday, March 30, 2007

A Monica who doesn't suck

I've never been happier to not be somebody else. True, I have a bunch of shit that will have to get done by the end of the semester, but at least I'm not Monica Goodling.

Telling the Senate Judiciary Committee that you won't testify about your work for the Justice Department because doing so could incriminate you is hardly a good way to make the news.

Which really shouldn't worry her as her career has been inexplicably blessed, at least up to this point.

It all started with having to go to Bible College Law School (also known as Regent Law School, founded by a proud member of my ignominia list). If there was ever a law school with its priorities ass-backwards, it's Regent. In Regent's metric of the critical roles for the attorneys it produces, "counselor," "conciliator," and "defenders of the faith" all come well before what really matters: "effective client advocates." All of those other things are well and good but somebody's priorities are a bit off. Let's just say, if you aren't "of the faith," you might want to take your chances with a differently-schooled lawyer.

Given this unfortunate starting block, I can imagine Monica's wonderment at her seemingly miraculous elevation from graduate of Regent Law School to liaison between the Department of Justice and the White House.

Where are our trusty affirmative action critics when we need them? When this incredibly under-qualified (not to be confused with unqualified) lot starts deciding which US Attorneys to fire, things must be pretty bad. But these folks didn’t get a leg-up, or whatever pejorative the over-entitled-yet-still-bitter types are using, they got appointed. Now, from what I know at this point, I can't deduce that Ms. Goodling and her classmates from Regent are bad lawyers or otherwise particularly stupid. What I will say is that Regent, compared to the vast majority of American law schools which are mostly on the same page as the Constitution with respect to the establishment clause, is a strange little outfit of dubious quality and people who choose to go there are also strange, especially if they have other options. Those members of the Federalist Society at real law schools who are so suspicious of any minority who happens to get ahead of them would do well to offer their services to the administration so that it doesn't have to hire from the Bible College Law School barrel.

Not that I realistically expect them to willingly board a sinking ship or anything.

Notwithstanding the foregoing vicious elitism, it's a shame what is being done to this ill-placed woman. Seriously, does anyone doubt for second that a few phone calls went 'round between the important people with the frat connections, the Texas crew that knew each other from that small, small world of fancy graduate programs where nobody is separated by more than 2 degrees, and decided that the outsider who went to the Bible College Law School would be the one to hang? Apparently there is a corollary to "VP-in-charge-of-going-to-jail," a position where you get to carry the messages that will get everyone in trouble if they make it into the public record. We'll call it "sacrificial lamb." I'm sure Monica won't find the whole mutton thing too terrible if she believes she's being sacrificed for the greater glory of the Lord’s Anointed…by whom I mean Bush.

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot
...ceterum, I believe that Bush should be, like, impeached.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Condilicious

The girls playing Condoleezza and Mary Cheney are way hotter than their real-life counterparts but don't let that rain on your parade. Also, I'm not entirely convinced that it would qualify as "girl-on-girl" ...



That said, absurdity is the best antidote to stupidity; there's really no need to dignify these people or their crimes by debating them as if they actually know what they're talking about.

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spring break, last thursday night

San Francisco Bay Area

it started with a declined invitation to smack some balls at the driving range...

it continued with pre-game to the sounds of the Littl'ans album; too many drinks at the Clift; a random girl heartlessly, but without malice and quite inadvertently, told that her resume didn't measure up; the acquaintance-making of several interesting and vaguely twisted people; a surprisingly small bar tab at an inexplicably picky club

it ended with an angry bouncer banging on a bathroom stall door, a 90 MPH party in the back of an SUV on HWY 101,
and, thankfully, no arrests.

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American Mahdi, continued

Herein we continue our somewhat discursive fulmination...

Simply because both law and religion have failed to rid us of such anti-social behaviors, it does not follow that they are both similarly useless. Indeed, if so many religious dictates weren’t so easily interpreted as “don’t gather firewood on Shabbat,” “women are dirty for a few days every month,” “beat your disobedient children,” “fly plane into building,” “exterminate the unbeliever(s),” and so on, I’d say that religion was just fine at keeping some of those anti-social types in check. Unfortunately, the threats of fire and brimstone and bolts from the blue are neither swift nor sure and serve less of a deterrent than the modern death penalty. Which brings us to the utility of secular law for dealing with conscienceless malcontents: we can lock these people up.

But let’s not stop with the impact of good religious values on one’s propensity to kill people. Surely, without a solid grounding in scriptural morality, courtesy of public school, all our young people will move to San Francisco and have lots of gay sex. Once again, this probably won’t happen. Not that I think gay sex is yucky (actually it’s pretty damn hot if you’re reading about it over at Jefferson's blog) [shameless plug], I just generally prefer vagina. And believe you me, the book of Leviticus (which I’ve (NOT!) just finished reading for the 3rd time…) does not go very far in enhancing one’s appreciation for vagina. If people are upset by such “immoral” behaviour, perhaps a bit of perspective might ease their angry hearts: if you think being gay is deviant or against nature, just think about all those folks who don’t feel anything is wrong with killing people who disagree about what constitutes the “law of God.” Believe me, you have scarier things to worry about – namely your more faithful neighbors who are certainly worth more in His eyes.

An aside: to the extent that the twits at Exodus International manage to turn gay people straight, it is in the same way that fundamentalist Islam allows otherwise intelligent, level-headed folks to strap explosives to themselves: by inculcating a sense of loathing of the state of the self and the world around them, by telling them that their deficiency lies in a deviation from God’s straw-man of perfection. And before you try to sue me in the UK, just remember that truth is an absolute defense to libel.

A rather bright professor recently described to me his thinking on how to mediate particularly intractable disputes (i.e. South Africa, Northern Ireland, Israel and the Palestinian territories). He said that what links individuals who have made substantial progress is that they are the sort of people who can evince in their adversaries a measure of trust that the future they envision would be tolerable to all concerned. Conflict is driven by a refusal to recognize a future environment that does not pose an existential threat to “the other.” The teleology of human freedom, if such a thing exists, points to systems that embrace dissimilar viewpoints and goals to the extent that we can all live with it. I would speculate, upon very little reflection, that there is more room in a community governed by Bill’O’s much-maligned “Secular Progressives” then in one run according the precepts of the Bible or the Koran – which might explain why nobody bothers to write such books in the age of globalization. By all rights, there should be less tolerance of apocalyptic religions than there is for SUVs: global warming will only drown us slowly, but the faithful doomsayers among us will doubtlessly cheer nuclear war as a sign of the rapture.

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TeachKind.org

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

American Mahdi, or, The Dangerous Glorification of the Simple, God-centered Life

I have no good excuse for neglecting this blog.

You know the Bible 100%!
 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
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At the outset, the preceding should adequately demonstrate my credentials to those who would argue that I don't know or understand the biblical worldview.

Parts of America have a long-term affair with anti-intellectualism, following the gut, olde tyme religion ("It was good for my dear mother...It's good enough for me"), and similar platitudes that tell people they're doing OK when they're really just losers who for a host of reasons have little to look forward to besides the end of the world.

The moral certitude of this ilk is particularly troubling. Owing, as it does, more to the homogeneity of environment than to the exhausting of alternatives through ethical investigation, be it consequentialist, utilitarian, contractarian, or whatever. As one's high-school math teacher would intone, you really must show your work. The effect of this sort of ethical non-reasoning is that there is no individual moral calculus to go with the certitude. Religious moral indoctrination does not consist of a realistic discussion of what makes something right or wrong. Unless you count the definition of sin as a deviation from the perfection that is the essential form of reality. Which is to say, sin is "a privation of conformity to right reason and to the law of God."
Translation: sin is not what you or your friends feel to be wrong; it is what God (and His legion messengers, interim representatives, and assorted acolytes) tells you is wrong.

Admittedly, there is some merit to the argument that secular law, being a mere aggregation of society's moral attitudes tempered by the thoughts of several wealthy men (plus, Ginsberg), is somewhat suspect. But no more so than the package of mores derived from ancient texts and regurgitated by those saucy controllers of our private steps, Messers Robertson and Falwell, and written into the platform of a major American political party. The difference I find most edifying is that secular law, and ethics, requires an explicative process, an articulation of rationale, a weighing of the likely impact, an accounting of the expressed feelings of interested parties. In short, it requires an exercise that forces us consider the effects of our actions on people who are dissimilar in interests, opinions, and values. Because of its explicit reliance upon one's subjective theory of what constitutes the law of God, basing one's morality on a doctrine of sin rather than a religiously neutral and personal sense of right and wrong necessarily discounts dissimilar perspectives. Christians don't get to write Sharia. More’s the pity; it would be fun to watch.

Perhaps religion’s biggest selling point is that without it people will do as they please, giving themselves over to an inherently sinful nature and wreaking untold havoc upon foe and family alike. People have certainly fallen for more transparent frauds, but this one is pretty big. Most people within a given social milieu don’t like killing, or rape or theft for that matter. The properly socialized among us view such actions as abhorrent (except for theft, which inexplicably remains a favorite diversion of the well-heeled). Quite predictably, we’ve made laws against. The question I pose is whether in the absence of religious faith, and its accompanying moral sense of right and wrong, everyone would suddenly want to rape, murder and steal. Unless you don’t have a conscience, the answer probably goes something like “probably not;” perhaps in more tortured cases one might say “well, it depends on the circumstances…but, probably not.” Surely there are plenty of people running about sans conscience, but I highly doubt that any of them are deterred from engaging in the shit that scares the hell out of the rest of us by a sermon or faith in one or more good books. Such people, usually by definition, don’t like books (good or otherwise) and don’t have the requisite attention span for sermons. They’d just ignore them anyway.

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